Sustainable Happiness…
First some background was given on the general term “happiness” and then in the previous story the concept of regular (or materialistic) happiness was explained. Now the big question remains, how do we make the concept of happiness sustainable for each and every one? And with sustainable we mean “able to continue over a period of time” (Cambridge Dictionary, 2019) or short, long-lasting. Therefore, as opposed to regular happiness, sustainable happiness will enable people to continue to be happy over a lifetime. Let us examine the concept “sustainable happiness” along the line of the six principles of my definition of happiness as explained previously:
- Sustainable Happiness is “passionate, fulfilling and purposeful”. The primary goal in sustainable happiness is to have a state of mind, state of life or better a lifestyle driven by passion and purpose in which events are perceived grateful and fulfilling. The hard part is to figure out your intrinsic motivators and to follow your passion and purpose which will inevitably lead to fulfillment. In theory it always sounds easy but in practice it is perhaps the biggest challenge in life and something we (unfortunately) don’t just learn at home, in school or in society. For this reason I dedicated a separate story about passion and purpose here. What is certain is that when your passion and purpose are brighter (as a result of increased awareness of your feelings and emotions) your “pleasant” and inevitable “unpleasant” (suffering) moments in life become meaningful knowing that it contributes to your overall happiness. Sustainable Happiness therefore only has benefits since the “positive feelings” of meaning, passion, gratefulness and love come from within and no money, no possessions and no status is able to beat that!
- Sustainable Happiness is awareness of ‘feeling’, it is the only way and the ultimate goal. In fact, being aware of feelings and emotions is the ‘key’ to sustainable happiness, it is the compass to determine whether actions are passion- or ego-driven and whether they bring you closer or further away from reaching your full potential. More about feelings and emotions here.
- Sustainable Happiness is an impermanent path.’ Sustainable Happiness is having a holistic[1] view and being aware of the bigger picture, the sum of impermanent states of mind. Instead of blindly chasing “pleasure-destinations” it is about having a conscious lifestyle-path driven by passion and purpose which accommodates you to reach full potential. And instead of blindly suppressing “unpleasant feelings” it is about confronting them and knowing that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger in reaching your full potential.
In simple words it is best compared with vitality, learning, expression and personal development, there’s not a stage where you achieved an absolute permanent perfect destination. It will always require action (or no action) to maintain or optimize it but at least you are aware of the “why”. Here the famous quote from (allegedly) Thích Nhất Hạnh is actually suitable:
“there is no path to happiness, happiness is the path”
Note: Having a holistic view based on materialistic and ego-driven goals might reap fruits on the short term but is the opposite of sustainable happiness as explained in aspect 1,2 and 4.
[1] Holistic emphasizes the organic or functional relation between parts and the whole.
- Sustainable Happiness is ‘personal’: In sustainable happiness your personal authenticity and uniqueness is the starting point. This personal uniqueness is a combination of your experiences, wisdom and talents – your backpack. Staying authentic, being aware of your unique talents and creating a lifestyle accordingly are perhaps the greatest challenges in life, challenges in which we are generally not supported, quiet the contrary. Society rather pushes us in predictable, universal and standard humans complying to the average.
- Sustainable Happiness is ‘internal fluid perception’: Instead of regular happiness whereby we seek truth, blame and happiness externally, in sustainable happiness we are aware of our feelings, the meaning we give to it and the choice to alter feelings and give no or different meanings to it. In other words, instead of believing in a ‘rigid reality based on our past experience and affected by uncontrollable external factors’, it is believing in a ‘fluid future with infinite possibilities’ whereby our internal mentality, mindset and vision is the main shaper of reality’.
- Sustainable Happiness is “balancing the comprehensive”. It is in this sixth principle in which the essential “art of happiness” is hidden and to go from ‘short-term and materialistic’ happiness to “long-term and meaningful” happiness. It is about a.) understanding and seeing the wide palette of factors in your life which are important and b.) about giving (balanced) attention to all of them even though some seem unimportant and irrelevant at the time. These factors may vary per person but in essence they come down to the following 10 categories:
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- Safety and Security (no violence and a comfortable place to live)
- Health and Vitality (food, sports and mental and physical wellbeing)
- To Love and Be Loved (friends, family and relationship)
- Being Confident and Content with yourself (Loving yourself 100% including imperfections)
- Having Meaning and Purpose (Having something to contribute and live for)
- Feeling Inspired and Creative (able to express and feed yours and others talents)
- Relax and Mindful (Being able to let go and be spiritual)
- Feeling Passionate and Challenged (Intrinsically motivated to contribute and create)
- Free and Independent (Flexibility and Freedom to afford and live life)
- Personally Development and Enriched (Being curious, reflective and willing to grow)
(Add a factor in the comments if you feel I missed a crucial one, thanks in advance!)
Finding the right balance is key since an unbalance can (directly) affect the sustainability of your happiness. For example, too much focus on work might diminish your health, connection with loved ones and mindfulness. Too much focus on parties and friends might diminish your health, personal development and inspiration. Too much focus on sports might diminish your work, connections with friends and independence (lack of money). Those are simplified exmples and I could give a few hundred more but I guess you get the point.
In addition, a factor can be a drainer or a driver for happiness. When a factor is out of balance (by unluck or caused by neglection) it can become a drainer! It requires more attention to have it in balance (again) and therefore you might be unable to spend attention on other factors which in turn could result in an overall happiness decline.
In contrast, when a factor is perfectly in balance (by luck or caused by indulgence) it becomes a driver! It requires less effort or attention to keep it in balance and therefore enables you to spend more attention to other factors which in turn results in an overall happiness increase.
To illustrate the difference between a driver or a drainer – it is the difference in you being fit or sick, having loving connections with family or conflict; having a satisfactory meaningful job or a stressful meaningless job, being passionately in love or feeling lonely.
Ultimately, the art is to increase overall happiness (hence: all factors) to reach higher levels of sustainable happiness. Mover, if you have a lifestyle in line with your passion, purpose and dreams, it is very likely you will be fueled by “positive” energy and therefore elevate quickly on the scale of “sustainable happiness” and on the way to reach your full potential.
Long story short and with these principles in mind, sustainable happiness can be defined as follows:
“Sustainable Happiness is a passionate, fulfilling and purposeful lifestyle in which conscious and balanced attention is given to all factors occurring in the past, present or future which matter and contribute(d) to reach full potential.
Sustainable Happiness in Retrospect
The above principles of sustainable happiness might also shed some light on various different viewpoints of “happiness” from renowned scientist, psychologists and philosophers in the past.
For example, Jeremy Bentham (1748 – 1832) and John Stuart Mill (1806 – 1847) promoted “utilitarianism” [2], the maximization of happiness and well-being of a population. In other words it promotes all actions leading to “happiness” as long as it doesn’t create “unhappiness” for others. Obviously I am not against happiness for all, however, in this concept there is no further specification of what “happiness” entails. In “regular happiness” it is illustrated how undefined happiness in a capitalistic and consumption democracy leads to materialistic happiness driven by ego. Moreover and although well-intended, utilitarianism is eventually highly susceptible to inequality, polarization and anti-social self-enrichment if happiness is not clearly defined nor “sustainable”.
On the other end of the spectrum, however, we find Friedrich Nietzsche’s point of view, he actually condemns the doctrine of utilitarianism. In his view pursuing happiness is a waste of time and instead he promotes the idea of finding “meaning in life”. He believed in a life consisting of struggle, suffering, blood, sweat and tears to achieve greatness, feel meaningful and thus happy after all. Following his example Nikola Tesla, Michelangelo, Opera Winfrey, Stephen Hawkins or any of your idol could not reach their greatness without their suffering.
In a way I do see and agree that suffering could and should lead to reaching higher achievements, or as popularly quoted “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. However, Friedrich Nietzsche speaks almost resentful about “happiness” and as alternative suggests that a hard, painful and suffering life is pretty much a “must” to be and feel meaningful. I like to present two hypothesis:
- What if the struggle and suffering as experienced by the above stars were eradicated the society they lived, wouldn’t we have maybe a multiple amount of similar talents instead. In other words, have we ever thought about the fact that in reality many people could not deal with such struggles and suffering and therefore only exceptions to the rule came to the surface, like the idols we know?
- What if the above stars had less suffering or in contrast (even more) support in life to pursuit their meaning, wouldn’t they maybe even had achieved more (positive) impact than they already did?
[2] Utilitarianism might evoke (as it did in me) the association with utility (or utility function) which is currently a popular economic term and model. Utilitarian is originally based on the initial meaning of ‘utility’ in the 18th century meaning the measure of satisfaction and pleasure hence why utilitarianism is about maximizing happiness. In other words, the meaning of utility over the last few centuries has radically evolved and is alienated from its original meaning.
My vision and central message throughout my stories is that sustainable happiness should be a possibility and right for everybody! It enables people (and therefore humanity as a whole) to reach full potential, and while on the path called “happiness” it is totally understandable and acceptable to encounter suffering. Let me use a four-stage-rocket[3] to put my vision into perspective:
- ->Being driven by passion and purpose as a starting point (read more here)
- —> Therefore, being resilient for inevitable suffering during life
- —–>Therefore, being able to continue the state of happiness over a lifetime
- ——–>Therefore, being able to share and multiply sustainable happiness so everyone can enjoy it!
[3] I am aware this might be a bit Dunglish (Dutch-English use of language) therefore this footnote. In the Dutch language we often use the “three-stage-rocket” expression to denote that going to some steps (stages) in chronological order progressively leads to a goal which otherwise could not be reached, as a rocket reaching a planet or goal in its consequential two, three, four or more stages.