Let’s fill up the glasses!
Looking at your life, the place you live and the things you do, would you consider the glass is half full or half empty? The obvious and right answer will probably be “it depends”. It depends what metrices you use to measure and with whom you compare yourself.
Most of us probably use economic metrices: income, profit, capital; power and possessions: your position, house, car and other technological tools. Or also popular ego metrices: your appearance, the number of friends, your position, your status, your popularity and fame, the number of likes, followers or the number of cool memories collected. (Too) few people would choose ‘happiness’ as a starting point for their metrices, but how do you measure such thing? It does include all of the above but the main difference is that it starts with selflove, quality (as opposed to quantity) of relations, passion, purpose, contribution, intentions and mental and physical health. In section XX the topic of happiness will be explored in more detail.
In any case your perspective (economic-money, ego or happiness) will determine whether your glass is half-full or half-empty. Let’s take three fictional persons which comply to their stereotype to demonstrate my point:
- A Kenian woman (33) with two children a husband living just above the poverty rate in a small town where they run a small farm on which they have to work hard everyday to get things running.
- An American men (52) living in Sardinia with his 15 year younger girlfriend after 2 divorces and enjoying his fortune (made from business in real estate) in his villa along the coast.
- A Swedish lady (26) living in Stockholm, still single, in her first job she really enjoys and which gives her freedom to grow. Not rich nor poor but pretty much average like most in Sweden.
- You!
Measuring content of a glass from the perspective of economic and ego metrices, we quickly agree that the American men scores best and has the fullest filled glass. On the other hand we probably also agree the Kenian woman scores worse and will have the emptiest glass. And comparing yourself to both I guess that you and all those having chosen to acquire and read this (e)book are somewhere inbetween (like the Swedish lady). Not because there is a correlation between the readers of this book and your quality of life, but more because you can read and you have and make the time to read it.
In this perspective, depending with whom you compare yourself you might either feel much happier, fortunate and lucky than the Kenian woman and on the other hand you might feel like a failure, unhappier and unluckier to the American men. Well, at least, that is when one is solely measuring their lives, happiness and glass on economic and ego metrices.
Cause measuring the content of a glass from the perspective of sustainable happiness, we strongly doubt whether the American men score well, what about his contributions, intrinsic passions and purposes, quality of relations and health status? Also, it his highly questionable whether the Kenian woman score worse now, perhaps she has strong purposes, contributes to community and has strong relations with her family and friends. And perhaps the Swedish lady is even doing best, following her passion, having strong relations with friends and family, being aware of her mental and physical health, able and stimulated to make her own life choices and choosing to do things which fulfill her and contribute.
Ok, ok, ok, I do indeed stereotype to make a point, indeed portraying the men living the American (materialistic) Dream, the Swede living the typical idealized Swedish liberated life and indeed romanticizing a bit the life of the Kenian woman. It just might make you realize that when looking at the glass (and life) from a happiness perspective, different parameters which actually provide sustainable and more social drivers become more valuable. It explains the phenomenon that people in least developed countries can feel happier (more satisfied) than people living in developed countries and vice versa, it explains the increasing rates of stress, burnouts and depression in developed countries as opposed to least developed countries.
But let’s stop comparing for now, since comparing oneself to others is the worse thing to do anyway. The only thing that can happen is you feel a ‘loser’ for being you or you try to hard to be like a ‘winner’ and losing your authenticity. And instead of focusing on whether our glass is half-full or half-empty, let’s find the taps (your happiness metrices) to fill up the glass. This insight also came to me when reading the boek “Omdenken” (Flip-thinking) from Berthold Gunster and seeing the image of a glass with the words “where to find the tap” (include image).
My assertion is that since time immemorial and still at this very moment we have a distorted picture of “success” and “happiness” and therefore distorted systems and institutions whom (with good intentions) guide and lead us there and therefore distorted companies, governments and other organizations in which we spend most of our time and therefore maintaining the inequality of wealth, health and resources. Also duality-thinking is very deeply rooted in our belief-systems as further discussed in section XX, making the world belief gaps between poor and rich are natural and acceptable.
While these beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies and sustain our current situation as being “good” and “positive” I belief we can achieve far more but especially far more equally distributed. Ok, I admit, I am an optimist, this is perhaps my ‘sweet-spot’, my only-overly-optimistic setting and danger zone to lose touch with reality. I know, I am aware of it! But I won’t settle for less before at least not trying to present an alternative.
And yes, I agree, life in Switzerland, France, Singapore, Japan, Costa Rica, Panama, Scandinavia, UK, Germany, Dubai, South Korea and many other developed countries and cities such as Shanghai, Capetown, Buenos Aires, Sao Paulo and Moscow is relatively good! In general people get education, don’t starve, have jobs, a place to sleep and on average get around 80 years old. Any nobleman in 1800 would directly sign-up for such life! But is this it? Is this what we settle for? Did we got stuck in the ultimate comfort zone, utopia by it’s very original meaning?.
I think this should not be our meaning of life – if there’s a meaning of life than at least it requires human kind to be able to reach full potential. And a populations full potential can only be reached when all individuals are supported, stimulated and enabled to reach theirs!
Whether you are an optimistic, pessimist, personality Type A or B, half-full or half-empty kind of girl / guy or a Don Quichot, the quest is how do we fill up each and everyone’s glasses to their full potential! This book is not meant to be a blueprint nor manual for an alternative ‘model’ or ‘lifestyle’, the essence of this book is to provides a journey which triggers, provokes stretches and inspires you to reach your full potential (and with that those around you).